Hmm.... yesterday was weird. I got into it waaay too much... IDK maybe because I wrote the blog, i made it worst... because it made me really think about it... IDK but yesterday I was very sad. Today I'm much MUCH better but I STILL haven't finished the whole game >_>
Yesterday I was looking at Zack pics and I saw he has a lot of fans :-) That made me happy ^_^ It would have been great if Square Enix would had shown a scene after Aerith's death in the original FFVII in which Aerith and Zack are reuntied in heaven <3
... of course, Zack Fair didn't really exists too much when the original game was created.... he was meant as a minor character... to help set the story, I guess. So I suppose considering all of that my little Zack went a long way :-) ....and I guess they couldn't kill off Cloud because by the time they really made Zack.... he was already dead :-(
Anyways.... so last night I got sad about it... and I called my best friend, Jay, and she answered but I think the phone woke her up... and I told her how I felt sad about the video game. I know it's just a video game and I knew that yesterday too but I was feeling just generally bad... and I just wanted someone to talk to. I told her about it and she said "it's just a video game" (a small part... well not small, but a part that feels guilt can't help but think: OMG, REALLY? IT'S JSUT A VIDEO GAME??? REEEEALLY? OHHHH WOW, THAT HELPS. I FEEL MUUUCH BETTER NOW! *SARCASM OVER* THE POINT IS I AM SAD AND YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND SO I WANT YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME! EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR OR TO NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL BUT LISTEN!") I felt kind of dumb because she didn't seem to care... so I said gooodnight and politely hung up. But it bugs me. I know it very well, and I'm pretty damn sure she knows it too, that if it were the other way around and she called me feeling sad over a video game, or over a movie, or over a dream or even over absolutely nothing, I would listen and try top say something conforting or get to the bottom of what is really bothering her or at least... just be there and care! GRR! >_<
...I digress. Jay can be like that.... so it doesn't bug me much. I know it sounds like it does and who knows, maybe on a deeper level it does, but on the normal/surface level it only bothers me sometimes and only enough for that after I actually express it in writing, it goes away seemingly completely....
So after our phone call I went home... I was still very, very sad. I played FFVII: Crisis Core until about 12:30 a.m. (so like 2 hours or 2 hours and a half) and I was still feeling very gloomy and I felt like wanted to cry but I just couldn't. Then I saw Law and Order: SVU and I couldn't that was it... I cried. Law and Order SCVU has amde me cry many times before.... although yesterday's episode was particularly sad.... it was about these really little girls, about the age of my little sisters.... I just can't stand to see children sad or to know of the pain they've been through.... it really gets to me.
I am very emotional and sensitive overall... I guess that's why the video game made me sad.... to think that Zack was a nice guy that meant well and never turned his back on his friends and jsut followed his dreams and just wanted to be a hero.... and he helped Cloud (the guy who would be the ACTUAL protagonist of FFVII) and he tried to go back to Madrid to see Aerith again but he'd die saving his friend and he'd never see Aerith again or his parents or his friends.... idk... it's just a sad concept, I suppose. And that story really gets to me >_< And apperantly the rest of the game doesn't talk much about Zack! GRR! :-P
As I said, I'm okay now :-p ^_^ :-) =)
Tomorrow I have a lot to do apperantly... I have to pick up a 'note' at the palce that is hiring me (not my official work yet but basically) and I have to call to check up on a receptionist position that is considering hiring me (less officially then the other one but still something i am considering and someone considering me) and then hang out with my friend, Efren.
There's something odd about my relationship with Efren.... :-/
But um... that is a story for another day. I have to go to class ^_^
I'll let you know how it does, tomorrow.
P.S. Do you like Zack Fair? :-)
P.S.S. I don't like writing a blog in computer labs >_< I'm too paranoid.... >_> People keep staring every once in a while... WAIT FOR IT TO BE FINISHED, PEOPLE! :-P
