When Hell Freezes Over Perez Hilton, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!

I forgot to share something diliciously hillarious and down-right awesome with you... I found it on yutube and loved it.





Basically Perez Hilton was going to be on the KTLA Morning News on a Monday at 9:20 a.m. He showed up at 8 a.m., probably misinformed about the time he had to appear, and he didn't want to wait until 9:20 a.m. He wanted to do the interview sooner but they already had other guests lined up. He refused to wait with the excuse that he had to update hishis oh-so-precious website immidiately but that he would still do the interview via Skype. The KTLA staff generously offered Perez their newsroom to do his blogging but he rejected their offers, including Anchroman Sam Ruben's offer of letting him use his own luxurious office for the blog. Perez left and did not come back at his scheduled time for the interview. He demanded that KTLA retracted the information they gave viewers about the mishap and to top it all off, Perez publicist called to ask to reschedule since Perez was the one that wanted to go on the KTLA news in the first place to promote some book. Sam Ruben put Perez in his place and said they reschedule Perez to appear in their show 'when hell freezes over'.


In the spirit of Perez Hilton I am going to make a list of 5 reasons why Perez Hilton is LAME.

1. He writes shit and expects to special treatment for it. Personally I don't care much for the Hollywood scene. The idea of celebrities or aspiring to be like people that act or sing for living and make thousands of dollars doing it and ging on TV talking about it is ridiculous and a tragic reflection of how petty our society is. What is worst is that other people like Perez Hilton, who is not even a real celebrity himself, snags a celebrity status through gossiping about celebrities. He basically writes a bunch of pointless crap and he has the audocity to expect special treatment for it? Shit is nothing special and neither is Perez Hilton.

2. Diva Attitude. It's not cute and frankly it's not deserved. Even in terms of celebrity, Perez is not. He is just a troll. He PHAILED as an actor and although his blog about crap was successful... as I said before, it doesn't take much talent to write it. He doesn't have a life and has a lot of time to put in it, I'll give him that, but that is not by any means a significant accomplishment much less a reason to talk shit about people and refuse to go to appointments which he scheduled to appear on TV. I may not like him but he does have fans and he should be grateful that a 'talentless dwiit' (to quote Sam Ruben) like himself has fans and SHOW UP TO THE BLOODY APPOINTMENTS HE SCHEDULES! In a perfect society attentionwhores like him wouldn't be given a spot on TV in the first place.

3. Imposes his beliefs on others. It's one thing to blog about what you and only you believe but to judge others for not agreeing with us is LAME and hypocritical for someone who clams to have a cause of his own.

3.

4.

5.

I Gotz Twitter (finally)

Tis time for the wolrd to hear about the tragedy of Zack Fair and Cloud Strife and Sepiroth's injustices! I HAZ A TWITTER!!!

And important stuff... I care about important stuff, too O_O (I DO TOO!)

Yay, I am finally catching up with the crazy youth ^_^


Anyways... welcome into your tweet world please, for I am new ^_^



https://twitter.com/Kittteh <- Subscribe to my tweets! Subcribe :-)

-A twittering cat!

My Life Is Messy ATM

I think I may get kicked out of college... it's that bad.
And I finally said it...
And I'm sad and scared and overwhelmed with.... myself.
I feel incompetent. I feel stupid. I feel like a burden.

But I'm not stupid.... I know betetr somewhere deep inside of me.

But then WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?

I don't want to make excuses for myself... But I don't think I'm okay.
I feel sick :-(

My thoughts and my feelings are all just rotting inside of me... wanting to get out. But when I try to say it... I can't. I don't have words. I jsut have a really weird sensation of wanting to scream. And kick. And yet... to do nothing.

I can't tell you how I feel... I have all the thoughts.... I can express it perfectly well cto myself.... but god forbid I try to write it or type it or say it...

I keep dissappointing myself.

Btw about a week ag. - or two... it could have been two, I don't remember, I just remember it was on the weekend - I told my mom I think I need a therapist... I was afraid to say anything. I thought she'd think something else, as she usually does. But I did and she agreed... she thinks it would be good for me.

But I haven't looked into it.

I'm tiered and overwhelmed. Please remind me to look into it?

-A dissappointed cat.

Dwight Schrute!

DWIGHT SCHRUTE! I AM MAD AT YOU DWIGHT SCHRUTE!!! DON'T THINK I HAVE FORGIVEN OR FORGOTTEN! EVEN AFTER ALL THESE The Office SEASONS!!! >_<

The first time I saw The Office I was very fond of Dwight ^_^

Ofc, Michael stole my heart from Day 1. It's funny.... I don't care for Steve Carell as an actor, I don't think he is very funny overall, but based on his character Michael Scott alone he would be one of my favorite actors. I LOVE Michael Scott!!! Um... anyways.... but I also liked Jim and Ryan back in the day ^_^

Then Andy came.... idk how I felt about him back then.... I may have been against him dating Angela or I may have been indiffierent. I forgot.

But I now LOVEZ Andy Bernard!

I was watching some Office reruns and it all came back.... Angela dates Dwight. Deight kills Angela's kitty, Sprinkles (:-( GRR! ANOTHER REASON TO HATE DWIGHT) and tehn Angela gets engaged to dorky, spunky, silly Andy. At first not even she cares much for Andy but cute silly well-intentioned Andy wins us over with his cheery songs and good heart!

I should be more upset with Angela for cheating on my Andy, I still can't help but be uber outraged with Dwight, even mroe so than with Angela. I LOATHE HIM >_<

I still acknowledge his funnies and still give me lulz here and then but I still abhor him! GRRR DWIGHT! GRRRR!!!

And ROCK ON ANDY BERNARD! ROCKZ ONZ AND ONZ AND ONZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Andy should make Dwight his biatch...

And Jim.... Jim Halpert, who is very sweet and would make any Pam a happy lady, but who always does his same stuff (smirking at the camera, same little pranks, same witty remarks, blah blah blah), IS GETTING OLD!

-A kitty cat who does too have a life!

Images Courtesy Of Google Images ^_^

SEPIROTH

(my little pointless letter to fictional-video-game-character-slash-icon, Sepiroth)

...Sepiroth, I'm still mad at you, Sepiroth!

I am mad at you for burning Nibleheim!

Why, Sepiroth, why? :-(

It was that decision that destined my Zack Faiir to his ill-fate!

But alas... he became a hero...

Still, Sepiroth! I'm mad at you! >_<

GRRRRR....

-A ressentful cat >_<

Another Weird Dream o.0

I had a dream about a guy I used to be in a relationship with.... and we had a friemndship! That was improtant too! :-P Sorry it's just... if I were to call him or if he were to talk about me he'd say 'my ex called' or 'my ex blah blah blah'. I HATE being an 'ex'. Why can't I just be the girl he used to be friends with? :-( THE FRIENDSHIP WAS IMPORTANT TOO!
But now that I think about it more.... it is easier to refer to your former lovers as ex-boyfriends (or ex-girlfriends) rather than ex-friend.
I'm going to call my ... ex-friend-slash-ex-boyfriend Ein (it's not his real name but Ein Etras is his aself-appointed alias... you're likelier to find him looking up Ein Etras than through his real name).
AAAAAAH!nyways ... so in my dream last night I ran into him on the bus. We were at the back. He was sitting by the window. I think his friend, Edbsy, was there too. Anyways, I talked to Ein and even though he seemed a bit withdrawn he talked to me and I suggested we go on a double date. It's weird cause while we were on the bus I got a picture text message from Alex but I couldn't see his eyes... it was just part of his face.... WeIrD. Anyways, we did go on a double date.... only I didn't really have a date.... I was more of a 5th wheel. Or was Edsby my date? I don't know if I was the 5th wheel OR if Ein's date brought a girl friend and she was the 5th wheel. Either way, it was Ein, Edbsy, me, and two other girls. We went to the movies. Then after the movies the two girls left ahead of the guys and went to their car, which was in the parking lot, and I was talking a lot to one of the girls so I guess I walked with her to their car and we kept talking but then they had to go and I had to go so they left. Meanwhile Ein and Edbsy were in their car and I had gotten to the movies with them so they were looking for me. Ein was like 'Where's Cat?" And Edbsy was like "I don't know, I can't find her. Maybe the girls gave her a ride home. Let's go." Anyways, I couldn't find my way to their car so I decided to walk home.

And so began either another dream or it was the same but it chaneged completely! I walked home through a dirt-paved road and I lvied in some weird big hotel where you could fall asleep in one room and wake up in another... but anyways, not important.

Sooo... weird, huh?

I had another dream in which Martin made a guest-apperancance, and Edsby too, only I didn'tr eally see them. But I could feel it was them. I was staying at some resort or hotel and a group og people checked in and then elft otuside and I ran into them... HOLLY SHIZNIT! I RAN INTO THEM IN THE PARKING LOT! TWICE! INT HAT DREAM :-O
Now this is getting scary :-(
Um... I ran into them in the parking lot only they all gave me stink eyes (I may have blogged about this dream too... but I don't remember... I'll check). EThe only person I recognized after I woke up was Betsy, Ein's sister, but still.... in the dream I just knew it was them.
But that was a few weeks ago.

I thought maybe my dream was purely.... well, self-inflicted through the pwoer of suggestion.
I saw a Denny's commercial. I remembered one time I went to eat breakfast with Edsby and Ein at iHop and I went to the restroom and when I got out Ein told me that Edsby wanted to hide so I would freak out and think they left without me :-p But I was thinking more of Edsby.... I keep hoping he'll be on Yahoo IM so I can talk with him. ...We sued tobe friends too although it was mostly because of Ein but Edsby was really cool. He gave me rides to school, work, fixed my comptuer 2x.... he is awesome. End of. But if it weren't for Ein we wouldn't have been friends to begin with.
But now that I thought of how I ran into them in parking lots and both dreams invovled huge buildings of hospitality.... it's freaking me out a bit :-p Either my subconscious lacks creativity or maybe I'm trying tot ell myself something >_>

Even though a part of me wanted to call Ein as soon as this dream came back to me.... i don't anymore. And it's not out of fear opr nervousness :-p It's more... indiffernece. I tried to be friends. He ressented me. I don't know.... I could. I could call and try again.A fterall, a long time has passed since we last spoke. By now he may be over it or willing to be friends.... He may have a giflfriend or luvers :-p but.... I don't know. When I look at life in the sense that it is NOT forever.... i want to call Ein. I want to call everyone I ever knew. i want to make unneccesarry amends (by unecessary I mean, life went on perfectly good without them and it was the mistakes that i seek to amend that we needed to learn and made up the experiences thata re our lifes). But... when I don't think of life that way.... I don't feel any need to call Ein. I'm not curious. I'm not bored enough. I'm don't need any type of closure. I don't mean it in a bad way, I promise that I don't, but I just don't care.

I think its the feeling of being over something. And when we terminate a relationship it's not only the dumpee or he or she who got his or her heart brokent hat needs to 'move on'.... it's the dumper as well. He or she who had to break someone else's heart has to move on too.
And once you do... you can wish the other person well and you may miss them from time to time, especially if you have a lot of free time on your hands :-p, but..... lol This topic got boring :-p And this is EXACTLY what I am talking about only I'm too bored to find words to express myself!

Bleh, I make boring blogs. Sorreh <3

Tune in next time so we can go over again, for the hundrer thousandth time, why I LOVE Zack Fair and loathe Cloud and ressent Sepirth for burnign Nibleheim. if it hadn't been for that, Zack and Cloud wouldn't be injured and tested on.... The three of them would had returned to Midgar, and Zack would had seen Aerith. .... >_< The pain is coming back to me now :-p

I guess I still haven't completely gotten over FFVII >_<

<3

-A silly cat who IS a cat!

ANNOUNCEMENT

Ohhh.... I forgot to tell you something!

I am going to start going to the gym and plan to loose some serious weight (I'll tell you my current weight later.... but shhh.... major secret!)

Until I reach my goal I will not wear any make up, skirts, or dresses.

:-O *gasp* I know

I wonder if I'll be conceidet when I'm thin.... >_>
Noez, never. I have inner-uglyness :-p
I kid. No but I'm already conceidet so I probably will be MOAR conceidet
I kid AGAIN :-P

AAAaaaaaanyways, wish me luck please <3


-A fat cat that is about to get thin


p.s. I weigh: 165 and I am 5'4 tall

....here's the latest full-body picture of me, taken around Halloween of 2009.

Apperantly I Can't Let Go

One of my biggest fears is not being able to 'move on' or get over certain feelings. As morbid as it sounds I have thought in my head about how I feel if my mother died.... and it really scares me that I wouldn't be able to get over it. or if something happened to my little sisters. I just wouldn't be able to get on with my life. Ever.

Last night I texted Alex.
These are our text messages:

Me: Nude pics. Send me some ^_~
Him: That would be strange
Me: Lmao. Killer of mah joy.
Him: Muah hahahahahaha those two pieces move together
Me: Bleh you win. You out confuzzled me >_<

Um.... why the hell did I text him? >_>
I was bored. Okay but.... Alex and I are not friends. Sure, he said he wanted to be but I am not stupid and his actions or lack of actions are clear and I shouldn't be texting him.
I don't have feelings for him at all anymore. Sure, being friends would be great but I am going to be extremely blunt here. I don't give a damn if he doesn't want to be friends. I wouldn't try to talk to him or try to him or go out of my way to be his friend. I mean, if he talks to me and we become friends, cool. If we don't, meh, as I said, I won't try to talk to him or go out of my way to be buddy buddies.
But I have. I texted him.
I don't like him anymore. You may not believe me or you may think I am in denial, given I texted him last night (by the way, I wasn't actually requesting ndue pics.... it was my way of being silly.... had he sent nude pics I would have cringed and gone EWWWWW or deleted them before opening them., if possible), even afte I texted him about a week before that and did not get a good respond (well the respond was ncie but let's be honest, pure B.S.)
What can I say? ....I was bored.
Blame it on my self-destructive or drama-queen personality. But I won't hope that you don't think I don't like him because it won't change the fact that I don't. I won't fear people thinking I like him because the years in which I couldn't egt over him are looooong gone. ....I felt it die. Despite my strange behavior that at times I myself don't fully understand... I don't want Alex anymore. At all.

But for four years (as embarrasing as it is to admit) I couldn't imagine getting over him. Well at times I thought I did or told myself I did but I was in denial (I always knew deep down inside). And if you knew the nature of our relationship.... the lenght of our relationship.... you'd probably question my sanity or suspect I have some emotional or psychological disorder :-p

I envied Alex for being able to move on quicker than I did. I envied most kids my age for being able to make relationships and then dissemble them again and again and again and walk out with drama for the ears of gossip but could sleep soundly at night. I envied people that actually learned and grew from relationships and became better people and had better relationships. I simply couldn't move on.... and had someone told me the person I couldn't let go of was Alex, I wouldn't had believed them.
Since 9th grade until 12th grade, sure I had crushes (and boyfriends) but for the msot part I lost interest as soon as I got what I wanted or as soon as I realized I could get it. And my mind still went back to Alex.... a guy I never really knew, actually.

Recently I became infatuated with Mister Zack Fair <3 as you can recall from my earlier blogs. I was literally depressed for like 2 whole days. Over a video game. And I thought about it waaaay too much. Then when I allowed it to escape my mind I completely avoided the game altogether. I turned on the game today, by accident, and some of the sadness restored itself... And that is just a freaken video game!

I am obsessive. Period.

Idk why I texted Alex.... I honestly know it's not because I still have feelings for him.... I'm sure the reason is unhealthy though.
It's probably those same feelings that make me... lead on people (oh wow, I said it o_o). Maybe I want attention, I don't know >_<
I am scared..... very scared of fear. I'm scared if I manage to truly care about something I won't know what to do without it. I am teriffied of becoming mentally insane...

Bleh, sorry, I don't feel like writing anymore. Not because I'm sad or anything :-p I jsut got a bit sleepy and hungry and my feelings of what i was writing went away.... so it doesn't feel natural atm :-p

Meh, thank you for lending me your ear, shall we discuss my intimate problems some other time? :-)
Maybe next time we can discuss what is wrong with you instead :-p

P.S. Btw, something I wanted to share that I thought was a bit funny. Last night I took the bus home. This girl got in at my stop and she was thin and had a cute hair-do (the front side flipped to the back and held by bobby pins with strands from the sides). I kept staring at her hair but she couldn't see me because of where she was sitting. However, sometime later another girl came in with a really cute face and pretty hair (her's was black and straight and she had bangs) that remidned me of someone. For the record, I am heterosmexual (sorry ladies) so I don't check out girls in the sense that I am attracted to them but I do notice pretty ones and admire some of their purdy traits .... or if I am having bad days I envy those traits. Anyways, I kept staring at the other girl. By the way, I was out of it. It was almsot 10 p.m. and I was listening to the same tiered songs on my PSP. Anyway, the 2nd girl did manage to see me staring at her and she looked over at me and gave me the stink eye.
And then it hit me - she probably thought I was player hating. I feel dumb and guilty. I wanted to interrupt their conversattion and say "oh no, I jsut think your friend has a nice hair-do and you have a cute face and a cute hair style". Good thing I didn't but meh. I just feel bad because I hate it when people stare at me at the bus but I had nintentionally become that which I hate.

P.S.S. My period starts today. Sorry, I wouldn't normally share this tidbit but I am horrible at keeping track of it and I KNOW it is uber irregular but when I go to the doctor's they don't seem to believe me. If I mention it casually on my blog then I can look at it later and transfer it to a calndar or something.

Until we meet again,

-I am STILL a cat! Deal with it! :-p

Just Random Thoughts

I don't like parades. ...Thanksgiving is coming up. Then New Year's. That means there will be parades.... and they will be replayed all day on TV >_<
I don't like parades. I don't quite understand the big deal. I mean.... maybe one parade once in a while is nice but..... how can people stand alll the parades? The homecoming parade, the Maccy's Day Parade, the gay pride arade, the Thanksgiving parade, the New Year's parade..... Ahhhh! Why the hell do you want to look at all the people dance and walk or play and walk or wave and ride ?!?!?! ....I can't explain my dislike for parades.... i find them boring.

Parades - YAWN!

Today I rode the bus to school. When I was about 10 minutes away from school, and the bus was almsot empty (there was only one other person in the bus besdies me and the driver) this young lady walks in. And although the us is filled with empty seats she sits right next to me o_o Not that it bothers me but I find it odd. I mean generally we don't sit next right next to other people if we can avoid it or unless we know them. I guess that is part of what our culture teaches us... how far t stand from someone... or sit from them. And I don't know why, although there must have been like 20 or more empty seats, she chose to sit right next to me.
Meh, at least she was some girl. Not some old smelly bum perv. but still.... i found it slightly humerous and slightly strange.

People Sitting Right Next To You Even Though All The Other Seats Are Empty - AAAAWKWARD

Finally, tipping. I am not a fan of the tipping. First of all, now and days so many restaurants incldue a 'gratuity fee' in the bill. That should cover the tipping. Nonetheless, evem if it didn't or ifit was not included.... WHY THE HELL MUST WE TIP? I mean, serving us our food is PART OF THEIR JOB! They are supposed to treat us well and take care of their needsfor the sake of the business and therefore for the sake of their jobs. We shouldn't reward them for doing their job corrctly by giving them extra money. I mean.... it's a bit stupid if you think about it. lots of people do nice things for us, as part of their job. We don't tip police officers for checking or firemen or nurses or professors.
Sometiems we tip our accountants or our mechanics if they do an outstanding job and we want to keep them happy and make sure they keep serving us. That is udnerstandable. Some tax preparors are simply better than others. And the difference between them can mean we loose a lot of money and get auditer or we get a refund or at least avoid problems witht eh government. But waitoring..... ne waitor from the other doesn't differ much. Sure, one waitor could give you an attitude and forget half your order and the other can greet you friendly and be attentitve to all your needs but that doesn't mean the second one did such a great job that you should go out of your way to give them extra money.... it just means the first one is a terrible waitor. But we shouldn't reward the other one for doing their job right...
Not that they shouldn't be rewarded. They should. BY THEIR EMPLOYERS! And if you have extra money or if you really like your waitor or waitress then fine, tip them, I would too if the waitor or waitress did a really outstanding job in taking care of all my needs and made me happy to be in the restaurant. However.... it should be a reward for doing an AMAZING job and exceeding realistic expectations of what a waitor should do. Or... at least it should be taken as a hint that they are doing a good job and to keep up the good work. It shouldn't be something to be expected, like something that comes with the job.
And yes, I was a waitress myself. And I was a damn good one, not to be conceidet. I have a great people skills on the job but I ever expected to be tipped simple because I served the food. Serving the food was part of my job. My 'reward' was my wages. If I was tiped (and I usually was, and very generously) then it was great. However, I treated all the costumers with kindness and I was attentitve to all of them, without expecting tips. And I think that is how it should be. Waitors should not expect a 15% tip. That is plain ridiculous. They jsut serve food. often times they forget part of our order or they are not attentive or lack costumer service skills. Fine, the employers did a bad job of training them or maybe the mistake was hiring them epriod. Nonetheless, you will serve me my food, as required by your job, and I shall eat it and when I am finished I shall pay my bill and leave a $1 tip no matter how much I paid for. Consider yourself lucky.

Tipping Waitors - BAD IDEA!

Anyways.... those are just my silly thoughts.

Well I'm off :-)

-A cat that does not like to tip unless it is truly deserved, in whichc ase, sure I'll be generous in my tipping, I may even tip 15% of ym bill, and if you did an uber uber job maybe more.

No More Hope?

Yesterday, November 22, 2009, Sunday, my mother and my sisters went to the library (my sister Marie got books about squirrels for a school project and I got different books, including Why Courage Matters by John McCain and Mark Salter) and after that we picked up our dad and baby sister and we all went to Denny's. I ordered the Philly Melt and a cherry coke. My little sisters both ordered maccaronie with cheese from the kid's meny and.... I forgot what my dad ordered. My mom ordered something with steaka nd tortillas and a cherry lemonade which tasted more like sur lemonade and she also ordered onion rings which the waitor, although a polite guy, forgot to bring.
My grandmother had told me last week that she may visit us on Saturday.... but she didn't. It's actually expected from her to say she will visit one day and not show up. She doesn't visit us much, actually. I called Saturday night but nobody answered so I assumed she simply wasn't visiting us that weekend, end of. But Sunday, a few moments after our meal had been served, Granny called. She was outside our house, waiting for us.
I feel bad because I was upset at her for doing that to us. For not calling ebfore she visited us and instead just showing up, which caused us to eat in a rush an my mom didn't even remind the waitor of the onion rings, as she was planning to. Instead we felt guilty for making grandma wait for us in the cold but we (at least I know I was) were simultaniously upset at her for not having called in advance to make sure we would be home, especially because we were NOT expecting her to show up on Sunday. Had she called we would had brought her to dinner with us.
Anyways.... much later we got home and my mom brought her a Filet-o-fish combof rom mcDonald's. And for those of you worried about my Granny, don't worry, she went to my uncle and cousin's house down the block and waited for us there, inside, where she watched TV. Anyways, so we were home with grandma and.... my grandma and my mom were talking about my grandma's boyfriend, Thomas. My grandma cried. My mom gave her advice. My mom asked me to finish bathing my sister's and I could hear them talking from the bathroom. I kind of already knew from what I had heard but then my grandma told me, too.
Thomas, who has been her boyfriend since before I was born, has stopped responding to the medication and treatment. You see.... lately he had been sick a lot. Actually.... it seems the doctors don't even quite know exactly what he has. A few weeks ago (maybe months ago) he went to the hopsital and where he has been ever since. My grandma has tried visiting him, at least once a week. I was suppopsed to visit him a few weeks ago, too. Although about three weeks ago (the day I was suppopsed to go with my granda), Granny stopped visiting him. She says she just felt something told her not to. And when she finally visited him Saturday he was in a different room.... equipped with a life-support machine.... unconscious. And they have been trying to reach my grandma apperantly.... they told ehr Saturday that there was not much hope and given that they could not find any family member for Thomas and he was no longer able to speak or decide for himself, she should decide whether he should be kept on life support and let him die naturally, on the given day assigned to him by God, or if he should be euthanised and spared now.
Selfeshly I cannot help but feel guilt.... I was supposed to visit him. Had I not overslept 3 weeks ago... it wasn't too late then. We think it happened the 20th, Friday. I shouldhad gone a long time before but I was too busy..... actually the first time my grandmother asked me I said no because I didn't have a bus pass and I didn't want to 'waste' my money on the bus fare. ....I didn't go to visit the man who has been like to me, to us, since I was born because I didn't want to 'waste' a stinkin what? 50 cents 20 dollars? five dollars? ....He didn't want to be alone. My grandma only visited him ocne a week and when she didn't go he would ask ehr why she didn't go and ask ehr to go.... because he didn't want to be alone. he had been there weeks. Months. he was bored. He was lonely. ....And I didn't go :-(
It is a selfish feeling when we feel this way.... if it were selfless we would have complied to begin with. But we taught of ourselves and only ourselves and now it is the guilt that haunts US.
....I am sorry Thomas, that I didn't go. I am sorry you were complteley alone the weeks before it happened... and the many weeks when you were conscious before that. I am sorry I am so selfish and forgot the value of life.
Well I should go to class now... I don't know what exactly will happen. My mom adviced my grandma to look for one of his family members to make the decision.
Hmm.... I feel sad that I didn't egt to say goodbye.... my grandma must feel worst. They have been together since she was in her 30s, if I recall. She is now in her 60s. He loved her so much.... ebfore it happened, he told her he wanted to marry her or move in togetehr. She said no. It wasn't until he was already in the hospital that she told him that when he got out.... they should move in together.
The lessons we learn from our lost opportunities come with a heavy price. A price too great that we musn't forget the lessons and carry them out in what we have left of our lives, as long or as little as it may be.
Anyways.... I'm off to class for tonight. We'll see what happens...

-A sad kitty =(

The Last 3 Days

Two days ago (Tuesday 11/17) I met with the little boy I will be tutoring for the next weeks. I was so excited! he is the first child I have tutored for School on Wheels (or um, ever, excluding my little sisters :-p). I wanted to bake him cookies and I tried, bless my heart, I TRIED! But um.... I don't really know how to bake cookies and never had before.... I overslept Tuesday and woke up late and tried baking cookies but they didn't come out good >_< so i ended up buying a dozen donuts from a little store 2 blocks away from my house.
I had been avoiding that donut shop because a few years ago I went there with my grandmother and her boyfriend, who is very grumpy. Idk, I think the cashier gave him an attitude or he took it as an attitude or they had a disagreement or SOMETHING but after we ordered our food he was so pissed off at her that he wanted us to just leave and we did, without paying (you are supposed to pay after you eat) but the lady had already started making our food. My grandma left her diet coke so she went back to get it and she said the lady begged her to come back and said that her boss was going to be mad at her for having prepared foood that no one was going to eat. much less pay for. After that U was too embarrased to go back... Until Tuesday, when it was almost time for my tutoring appointment for School on Wheels.
The little boy liked the donuts so :-)
The little boy was adorable. he tried tricking me a few times. I helped him with his homework and after we were done I asked him about a little note in front of his homework which basically stated in print he had read his book three times and had three spaces for sigantures. He said "oh, we're done, I just have to write the title of that book and you just have to sign there." And I was like "nooo, you have to read it" and he was like "ohhh, I was trying to trick you." Then he looked at the front page for a few seconds then the last page and then he said "okay, I'm done". LOL Oh, and after he did read all of it outloud, like he was supposed to, I signed on the first space. Then he said "oh, you're supposed to sign in those 2 spaces, too." Ofc, he was trying to trick me again. You only sign per each time he reads the book :-p
And he wanted to go to the playground afterwards but from what I recall in the training we aren't allowed to take them out, even if it's to a park in front of the street, without first aqiring written permission. So I told him I couldn't but to ask his mommy instead.
ALSO.... something unexpected. The tutor coordinated was kind of cute ^_^
I felt kind of bad because this lady (the... manager... of the palce where I was tutoring) was thanking me for doing such a great job, to which I replied 'I haven't even started' and she said it was great to see young people get invovled and she was glad for the program, School on Wheels. She was jsut really nice and kept complimenting me but Idk... I find it funny when I get complimented by adults that way.... like when they are like "thank you so much, you're so wodnerful, it's so nice to see people like you involved...." Anyways, then he thanked the tutor coordinated and started saing how wodnerful he was and I couldn't hold my laughter so I giggled but TC looked so serious and he was like "thank you, you're such a nice person, you're very sweet." i felt like an arse. I wanted to laugh when she was thanking me. I didn't mean anything bad by it.... it was just my reaction.
Anyways.... I am seeing my little boy again next week :-)
And the week after that.... and after that.... Ahhh! I have to remember to call his school and speak to his teacher and ask about his grades.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I went out to the movies with my bff from middle school, Jay. It was fun ^_^ Qe saw A Chrismas Carol (<3 Jim Carrey <3) and it was really cute. Although the part where Mister Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Chrismas past is kind of scary :-/
Ohhhh and ebfore we went to the movies we did some prank calls and it was hella funny ^_^ All I can say is this.... a man whore is going to show up to a random address (2215 N. Huntington if I rememebr correctly) with a pack of condoms and soda expecting to have the smex with some strange girl he doesn't even know or he thinks he doesn't remember. Anyways, AFTER the movies we had popusas (and I had a taco, lol). And that was it.
Ohhh, we took some pics on our cell phones. I may put one up =)
I <3>_>

Aaaanyways.... ohhhh! today I went driving with my uncle. And that's pretty much everything worth mentioning for now :-)
I must go to class now, my dears, but I shall be back...

-Why won't you believe that i am a cat? :-(

Grrr.... exboyfriends!

GRRRRR!



So I made a big decision the the other day (two days ago). I decided to text my exboyfriend.... well not just any exboyfriend.... the guy I consider 'my first love' and took me years to get over (it was stupid, it was high school, it was nothing and yet so much in it's own right). I am actually completely certain I am over him and have been for years :-p and I'm not ind enial this time :-P In fact, it is BECAUSE I'm over him that I thought maybe we could finally be FRIENDS (music please: why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends? )

Foolish cat, I am. I texted him saying a quick hi, quick catching up, and asking him if he could do me a favor. You see, I have a car and my driver's permit but I don't have a license eyt and although I've taken some lessons, I'm still really really scared to drive myself. And I can't really learn beacuse no one can teach me. My uncle was teaching me but he is evrybusy with work so it was only a few days a week and evntuall a few days a month and.... well i'm not really practicing :-( And everyone from either my friends or family are either busy or don't have their driver licenses either.

Soooo.... I asked (and I am going to tell you his name, even though I'm uber private and paranoid, especially about names, but you, my dear, are special, so you shall know) Alex (yes, via text message) if he would drive with me. I just need someone who has their driver's license in the car with me to supervise me and well, for legal purposes.

Bleh.... i'll jsut write our texts, word for word:



Kittie Cat (me): Good morning Alex

Alex grrr >_<: Me: ??? Um... This is Aex right? >_>

Him: Yes. Who is this?

me: [The talking cat] from [the high school we used to go to] who loves CATS, scarfs, and stockings :-p sorry to bug you, was it okay 2 text you?

Him: Yes, it's ok.

Me: Lo. So how are u? :-) Anything new? And do you know how to drive???

Him: I'm still going to school. Nothing else is new.

Him: And how are you?

Me: What are you majoring in, if I may ask? Im great thanks for asking :-) um... Idk how 2 ask over a text mWould u plz go driving with me sometime? I have a permit and a car, i just need someone with a license 2 be in the car with me and help keep me 4m crashing so i can practice and i am running out of ppl 2 ask...

Him: I'm a history major. And yeah, that's great but aww, you're just using me, lol

Me: History? Cool =) using you? Well maybe just a little... And um.... YAY!!! When do u have time?

Him: i can't anytime soon, sry

Me: Aww >__< Alex you tease. Bleh, that's okay. Will you plz let me know when you have time? I want to get my license ASAP.

Me: Huh?

THE END

No more texts ever since.

... O_O

What kind of pisses me off is the fact that he said 'that's great'. he could have just said 'no, i can't or 'no, that's not a good idea'. Eeeeven better, he could have said, much earleir on, when I asked if it was okay if I could text him: "NO! Don't text me. Ever. Again." Sure it would have been cold but it would have also been much more.... considerate (for the lack of a better word). I would have appreciated the honesty.

(btw he didn't know it was me because he didn't know my cell phone but he gave me his cell phone number... i'm not a stalker :-p)

But anyways.... that's Alex for you. LOL Like the sumemr after graduation when he sent me a friend request on myspace, saying I looked beautiful (in mah pic) and he had thought about me a lot and wanted to talk and 'reconcile'. Then we finally talked and I told him up front that I was over him and suddenly he didn't seem to want to talk anymore, much less be friends. ...My theory is he had issues witht he girlfriend and wanted to flirt with the easy exit... It just sucks... he did mean a lot to me in one point of my youth... even if it was for no good reason at all. So yes, I would very much like to be friends. Not the kind of friends that are only friends if one of them likes the other one or if one of them has issues with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend.... jsut... friends. Even aquaintacnes on good, solid, HONEST terms.

But meh. Friends come and go and for the most part are disposable... (not that i don't value my friends but let's be realistic, the world is filled with potential friends).

Anyways.... so I was a bit bummed out but I thought of someone else who I know has a license and could help me. This guy from high school... but he is going to Santa Barbara and I lsot his number. I called my other friend for his phone number but anyways.... the friend I called (let's call him... Chris) may help me learn how to drive but he's really busy right now so I'll call him after the 26th and... we'll see.

Do you want to know a secret? I used to have a crush on Chris :-p He is really cute. I always thought that sicne we met on 10th grade. And.... idk I thought he was like... the perfect guy. He loves (you know who else lvoes cats? ME! And not just cause I am one) and I mean really really lvoes cats. He has 3, if i remember correctly. And... well he's a bit of a mommy's boy, from what I can tell (I find that adorable) and he's into his family (awesome.... I hate guys that don't like spending timew heir families) and.... he does not like pervy movies (I HATE pervy movies! And shows!) and... he doesn't drink or do drugs.... or swear.... and he cares about his grades and his education. And he doesn't follow trends of like... gangsta or baggy or all-black or piercings.... Aaaaan he is one of the niecest guys I have ever met.

Anyways.... yes I used to have a crush on him. But I have always respected him and I like him very much as a friend. He's an awesome guy. With that being said, lol, he may teach me how to drive. Yay! Wish me luck :-)

<3

-I am not freaken kidding, I am a cat!

My Dream Deluxe

Yesterday I had an odd dream (not last night, the night before that).....

A Silly Dream
It started with me living in a big house with a down-hill drive-way. I was me... I looked like me... I dressed like me. I had an argument with my mom that pissed me off and made me sad so I went out of the house, through the back door, and slid down the drive-way, where there were a bunch of people sitting around on the sidewalk. I asked a lady dressed like a ballarina, who I had landed next to, what was going on and she said something like "it started out as a funeral, but it turned into a party". I shrugged it off and went to school... even though the neighborhood looked completely different and so did the school, it was supposed to be my high school. There I hung out with some friends and my boyfriend. Except, when I got there I didn't look like me anymore.... I looked like a friend of mine... one whom I met at college and although we don't see each other often, we talk whenever we ran into each other. Anyways, I was her on the outisde, but I was me... and I had this boyfriend who for some reason reminded me of the guy from Grounded For Life (TV Show) that dated the red-head daughter.... he was really cute and really sweet. He seemed to really like me and he was affectionate and all sweet but I didn't seem to care much that he was there and I'd either push him off or ignore him... but then when I wanted to spend time with him and went to go look for him.... it wasn't him anymore. It was a different guy.... a much less cuter and not sweet and.... ust a different guy. And I was dissappointed. And that happened like two times, in which he'd come back as the sweet, cute guy who liked me but I didn't care for at the moment, and I'd look for him later only to find a different guy which i was dissappointed by. Anyways, there were other friends there, too. One, probably the only one I could recognize from RL, was supposed to be this girl named Jeanette whom I haven't seen since HS (she was a year or two younger/lower grade than myself). Well the dream ended with her being on the news... apperantly people were suspicious about our school (though my dream didn't specify what about, in particular) because eanette had grown 16 inches in one year. They showed pictures of her in the news from a year before, standing with her family, and a year later, looking much bigger.

Drops of Suggestion
I tried to analyze my dream and I think I know where a lot of the things came from.... the big house with the slanted drive-way comes looked a lot like a house I used to live in, many years ago, with a slanted drive-way, although in my dreams it appeared bigger and I don't remember it on the outside ver much, but it had a similar feel. Also, before I went to sleep that night I watched Malcolm in the Middle, and in that episode there was a neighborhood fair and all the neighbors were reuinited, forming a big mob, watching Hall and Loise in an eatting contest, so i guess that's where the mob of people sitting on the sidewalk came from. And that friend I was during my time at school... well, i don't mean any offense but she's not someone I c onsider very physically attractive although she used to have a really, really cute boyfriend who was really into her and I did, against my will, because I hated thinking that way, couldn't help but think that he seemed out of her league in terms of looks (ofc, she has an awesome persnality, as did he, so I did think they made an adorable couple). So there's with her with the really cute, sweet boyfriend comes from. The rest.... idk where i got it from for my subconscience to cnstruct such a silly dream >_>

Dream Interpretation
My aunt can interpret dreams and I fully trust her and she does it amazingly well. I told her about my dream on my way to school and this was her synopsis: First of all, she thought many of it may have been primarily influenced by things I saw when i was awake but that held no symbolic meaning. However, she said that if my dream did have symbolism, me getting into an arument with my mom and leaving the hosue from the back door and sliding down the drive-way symbolizes that there are problems at home and I am seeking an easy way out to avoid them. The sweet guy that wanted to be with me and whom I rejected and when I tried to go back to, was a different guy, which dissappointed me, may represent either that I look things in a certain way but when I try to obtain them theya re more difficult then I expected OR that I have great opportunities which I let slip by and when I try to regain them, there are more challenges that keep me from them or make things difficult. My friend growing 16 inches and it being such a controversial topic may mean that someone in my life is succeeding, such as getting good grades or obtaining a lot of money, but I am suspicious of the means they are taking to obtain those things, such as maybe they are doing something illegal or immoral to obtain prosperity or success.

Interesting.... I definitely agree aboutt he cute guy.... I do feel I have let many great opportunities slide by or I feel guilt because I think I could have tried harder.... and as for the problems at home... well there are some problems at home, as I'm sure there are few perfect families, but I wouldn't say I'm looking for an easy way out, especially not at this point in my life The friend growing a lot so quizkly makes no sense to me... I can't think of someone who has 'grown a lot' in RL, through wealth or through success, whom I am suspicious did so through illegal or immoral means >_> Of course, i'm sure a lot of my dream was influenced by the media or petty things I saw on TV before I went to sleep.

Anyways.... it was itneresting.

Ohhh... and about the guy I was supposed to hang out with yesterday... we didn't hang out. It was sort of my fault, although I think I may have made him feel guilty about it. Meh... we have no chemistry.... It's weird... He called Monday to hang out that day but I had to go to school so we didn't, and then the enxt day I should had called him since it was my diea to hang out on Wednesday,but I ddn't. Then on Wednesday I wouldn't had hung out with him anyway because I haven't cleaned my room and I didn't want to ask my mom if I could go out until after I cleaned my room... besides I woke up really, really late and I had to go to my soon-to-be work to pick up some documents.... but I did call him like at 4:30 p.m. from a McDonalds I took my little sisters to play, but he didn't pick up.
You see, I was just going to call and say "weren't we supposed to hang out today? You stood me up."
And I was expecting him to say: "What??? No! You were supposed to call me but you didn't."
And I'd say: "Sorry. I woke up really late and [enter excuse]."
But by that time it would have been too late to come up with a new plan... anyways.... I didn't talk to him until later that night.... he called at about 8:30 p.m. I DID Say "weren
t we supposed to hang out today? you stood me up" jokingly.... and he apologyzed for missing my call.... he kept apologyzing. I think he thought I was calling cause I was ready to go out and because he didn't answer, we didn't go out. He kept apologyzing. But we didn't go out because I'm irrespnsible and socially awkward :-p

We didn't make more plans. We talked about Final Fantasy VII and he tried to piss me off by saying Aerith loved Cloud (but he admit he was just trying to piss me off) and he said he'd lend me his Play Station to play FFVII if I could find a FFVII game copy but I said I didn't want to play it because if I do I'll probably try to kill Cloud and if I'm Cloud I'll try to committ suicide. Anyways, then I told him about my dream but then my mommy knocked on my door so I had to go very suddenly (I qwas going to the market with my mommy) so.... no plans. We made no plans and haven't talked since yesterday.

And that is that...

We'll see how life goes. Wish me well, please :-)

<3

-A cat! I'm not freaken kidding!

My 3rd Post Today... >_<

I'm so nervous anxious...

I want to start promoting my blog and getting some readers.... I lack patience. Seriously. I should just come back tomorrow.... I am cold and sleepy.... damn me and my addictive personality!

I hope I get new readers soon....

About FFVII / Zack Fair (sorry!) .... I think I am bothered by the fact that it got to me... but I mean... books and movies make people cry... music and songs make people cry.... beauty is in the eye of the beholder and art is in the.... heart of the.... bleh.

I'm loosing my train of thought. Goodnight :-)

There IS A Video Game Heaven!!!

THIS JUST IN....

Zack and Aerith DO go to heaven together! :-)

"She also appears in the final scene of the movie, along with Zack, where she gives Cloud more words of encouragement before she and Zack walk into the light."
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aerith_Gainsborough

Yay!!! I know it's something so small but given that the enitre FFVII world was created by Square Enix i felt that they AND ONLY THEY could create a Video Game heaven for Zack and Aeirth :-)

Ahhh... a small part of me feels is not good enugh but.... you know what, it is!

Are there Final Fantasy books? Not fan fiction stuff but official based-onthe-game/movies books? >_>
If not, I think there really should be one and I would really, realy like to write it!

Hmm... :-/ ... :-)

Hmm.... yesterday was weird. I got into it waaay too much... IDK maybe because I wrote the blog, i made it worst... because it made me really think about it... IDK but yesterday I was very sad. Today I'm much MUCH better but I STILL haven't finished the whole game >_>

Yesterday I was looking at Zack pics and I saw he has a lot of fans :-) That made me happy ^_^ It would have been great if Square Enix would had shown a scene after Aerith's death in the original FFVII in which Aerith and Zack are reuntied in heaven <3
... of course, Zack Fair didn't really exists too much when the original game was created.... he was meant as a minor character... to help set the story, I guess. So I suppose considering all of that my little Zack went a long way :-) ....and I guess they couldn't kill off Cloud because by the time they really made Zack.... he was already dead :-(

Anyways.... so last night I got sad about it... and I called my best friend, Jay, and she answered but I think the phone woke her up... and I told her how I felt sad about the video game. I know it's just a video game and I knew that yesterday too but I was feeling just generally bad... and I just wanted someone to talk to. I told her about it and she said "it's just a video game" (a small part... well not small, but a part that feels guilt can't help but think: OMG, REALLY? IT'S JSUT A VIDEO GAME??? REEEEALLY? OHHHH WOW, THAT HELPS. I FEEL MUUUCH BETTER NOW! *SARCASM OVER* THE POINT IS I AM SAD AND YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND SO I WANT YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME! EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR OR TO NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL BUT LISTEN!") I felt kind of dumb because she didn't seem to care... so I said gooodnight and politely hung up. But it bugs me. I know it very well, and I'm pretty damn sure she knows it too, that if it were the other way around and she called me feeling sad over a video game, or over a movie, or over a dream or even over absolutely nothing, I would listen and try top say something conforting or get to the bottom of what is really bothering her or at least... just be there and care! GRR! >_<

...I digress. Jay can be like that.... so it doesn't bug me much. I know it sounds like it does and who knows, maybe on a deeper level it does, but on the normal/surface level it only bothers me sometimes and only enough for that after I actually express it in writing, it goes away seemingly completely....

So after our phone call I went home... I was still very, very sad. I played FFVII: Crisis Core until about 12:30 a.m. (so like 2 hours or 2 hours and a half) and I was still feeling very gloomy and I felt like wanted to cry but I just couldn't. Then I saw Law and Order: SVU and I couldn't that was it... I cried. Law and Order SCVU has amde me cry many times before.... although yesterday's episode was particularly sad.... it was about these really little girls, about the age of my little sisters.... I just can't stand to see children sad or to know of the pain they've been through.... it really gets to me.

I am very emotional and sensitive overall... I guess that's why the video game made me sad.... to think that Zack was a nice guy that meant well and never turned his back on his friends and jsut followed his dreams and just wanted to be a hero.... and he helped Cloud (the guy who would be the ACTUAL protagonist of FFVII) and he tried to go back to Madrid to see Aerith again but he'd die saving his friend and he'd never see Aerith again or his parents or his friends.... idk... it's just a sad concept, I suppose. And that story really gets to me >_< And apperantly the rest of the game doesn't talk much about Zack! GRR! :-P

As I said, I'm okay now :-p ^_^ :-) =)

Tomorrow I have a lot to do apperantly... I have to pick up a 'note' at the palce that is hiring me (not my official work yet but basically) and I have to call to check up on a receptionist position that is considering hiring me (less officially then the other one but still something i am considering and someone considering me) and then hang out with my friend, Efren.

There's something odd about my relationship with Efren.... :-/
But um... that is a story for another day. I have to go to class ^_^
I'll let you know how it does, tomorrow.

P.S. Do you like Zack Fair? :-)

P.S.S. I don't like writing a blog in computer labs >_< I'm too paranoid.... >_> People keep staring every once in a while... WAIT FOR IT TO BE FINISHED, PEOPLE! :-P

Zack, I will always <3 you! :`-(

*Sigh* ....Hello,





Today I am slightly depressed and gloomy. And for quite a silly cause, actually... You see, about a year ago I bought Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (for PSP - which is basically the prequel for the actual FFVII game).... i was playing some other game at that time and I thought FFVII was going to be difficult but recently, given I'm all lonelyness, no social life, and a broken laptop, I found my PSP and started playing Crsis Core.


It has been hella awesome. FFVII: Crisis Core PWNS and Genesis is uber hot :-P I know, I know, it's all about Sepiroth and he is pretty badass but based on looks alone he looks like a smexy old lady with good posture. Genesis on the other hand... very smexy.


ANYWAYS... I haven't passed the whole game yet. Actually I got a bit stuck because in the game I'm doing some tasks and investigating if the 'Seven Wonders' of Nibelheim are actual wonders or whether they are hoaxes. The 4th Wonder was really, really tricky and I couldn't figure out how to open the Laughing Safe. There were some clues but even then I was confused sooo I went online to look for cheats just to pass the 4th wonder. However, I ran into some gamer page and the wikipedia and.... and.... :-(


...well there were bios. I read Genesis' bio to see if he is mentioned in any other Final Fantasies and.... well my friend told me that Zack doesn't come out in the actual FFVV (he's played it, I haven't, this is the only FFVV I have really played, actually) but instead Cloud is the main character even though Aerith comes out... and I started reading the other character's bios and.... and...... :`-( I FOUND OUT THAT ZACK WILL DIE!!! :`-(


Apperantly Sepiroth will go crazy and Zack.... IDK I'm thinking he will turn his back on Shinra because of how corrupted they are and then Shinra will go against him. I read Zack is escaping with Cloud but he gets shot down by Shinra but I didn't read too many details....Well first i was like o_o 'lalalalala let's see, cheats, bios....' then i was like :-o 'Zack is going to die?!?!?!?!' then ofc I was
It's strange.... when I first bought FFVII: Crisis Core, I heard it was a really great game, and I had heard a bit about Sepiroth, and then I read the little booklet. I didn't really like Zack.... he seemed annoying. Like.... an attention whore. He was a 2nd and he wanted to be a 1st class soldier and it was all about him. I wanted the guy with the big sword to be the main character (before I actually started playing. and by the guy witht he big sword I am refering to Angeal) though I noticed the guy with the sword on the cover was NOT Angeal... it was Zack though I didn't understand why that was (spoiler alert: Angeal dies, too, and leaves his sword to Zack... it's pretty sad.... Zack has to kill his own mentor because Angeal is degrading and becoming a monster and Angeal makes Zack kills him and makes a scar on Zack's face which he bears for the rest of the game.... and after Zack defeats Angeal and thus is forced to kill him and then Zack goes to the Chursh in the Slums with Aerith and Aerith is talking about her flowers and Zack is a few feet away, crouching on the floor, crying over Angeal's death, and then Aerith comes and hugs him.... AWW!)


And since I've played.... for the past weeks... I have spent many sleepless nights or lonely afternoons with Zack, joining him on his quest of honor to fulfill his dream of being a hero. He's such a great guy! It sounds corny but... by now I'm completely in luv with this character. He's just so.... AWESOME. It's so cute how he's so nice and naive and he fights with all his heart and honor for the company that betrays it and apperantly will inevitably betray him and kill him (Shin-Ra).


.....I almost don't want to keep playing the game anymore, later at tonight, when I'm home and insomnic. How can I keep playing knowing that he'll die? :-( Bleh, I know, I know.... it's just a game.... but it's an awesome game that does an amazing job making the main character's dreams and hopes my dreams and hopes :-)


*Sigh* ....It was lame knowing there'd be no more Genesis.... and after reading about Zack, I read about Aerith's death (apperantly it's uber emotional and moving and unexpected) though I can let go of Aerith... I mean, if Zack dies, she should die too! If she became Cloud's love itnerest I'd be angry :-p So it's good that she will die in FFVII... so she can be in rpg-heaven with Zack :-)


Ahhh! It's just a game but I can't get over the fact that Zack WILL DIE!!! ...Zack, my ficticious love.... :-( I will miss you and I will always alwaysHEART you. It is for great men like you that seek nothing more then to live a life of honor and service to others and die for a noble greater purpose that other greatness is born in other men as they are inspired to do great things as well.





THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO ZACK FAIR FROM FINAL FANTASY VII: CRISIS CORE






P.S. I haven't cried (yet) or anything so :-p But as I said, I haven't passed the whole game yet. I only found out by accident tody that Zack is going to die... I'll probably have the gloomy feeling at the back of my mind the enitre day until something distracts me and then I will get over it and then Zack will die and I will see it and it will be dramatic and I will be more sad :-( I'll keep you posted. Though you should really try the game out for yourself... it is awesome!





P.S.S. Those pics are of Zack. isn't he pretty? And he's so noble and nice ^_^ And he made Aerith 3 flower wagons... Aww.... And he wants to be a hero! Aww!

<3

Allan is a Clam =)

...IT'S TRUE!


Hello imaginary friends :-)


Yesterday was the first time I talked to Allan.... it was one of those quiet nights where you pick up the phone and dial a number and meet a person.... or in my case, a clam.


Allan, Allan, Allan, Allan. If you ever read this (probably you won't, but I shall tell you about it), I say HI!


Allan inspired me to start this blog. Cause I like writing. And he likes inspiring people.... and giving motivational speeches and pep talks.... tis what clams do best. By the way, THANK YOU ALLAN!


Today... I did something I can't talk about. Damn my human nature! Because I know I can't talk about it, I really want to! >_< ...No! I DON'T want to.... because I control me and I choose not to want to talk about it (I can do that thanks to my uber awesome jedi min-trick powers)... Anyways... let's move on please!

(But by the way, it's nothing dangerous or illegal or immoral... someday in the future I'll tell you if you remind me :-p ...in the loooong future, if all goes right.)


I applied for some jobs though I don't have to since I am getting hired.... but it's not a zillion percent official yet and I haven't even started and I really want to have a back up plan in case anything goes wrong. Ahhh.... I was planning to the money I earned to buy a laptop but instead I have decided to give my mom my first check since I spent over $200 in.... I don't want to say it out loud or write it... it's so shameful.... TEXT MESSAGES! Ahhh! I have a problem, don't I? :-(

My mommy, who is very very nice and sweet, added an unlimited text message plan to my phone but I feel very guilty..... over $200 ... :`-( Mom, if you ever read this, I AM SORRY MOMMY! I LOVE YOU :-)

I don't actually call my mom 'mommy' but I tend to refer to her as my 'mommy' to other people.... why do I do that? >_> Hmm... Does anyone know? Anyone a psychologist?

Anyways... I also have another dillema... I am blocked from adding any classes but... well long story short, I should had been unblocked but I wasn't and I don't think I will be unless I got o a 'workshop' but I didn't go because I didn't think I had to.... now I don't remember when the schedules were and I am really really really scared that it's too late to go to any more of the worshops and I won't be able to take any winter classes :-( :`-( ...I think I need a hug....

Nothing interesting aside from that... I shall depart now and go to the counceling office and see if my issue is fixable. Wish me luck please :-)



Take care,



-A Cat! Really... I am one!

This is madness! THIS IS A BLOG!

Ohai there strangers :-)



Welcome to a stranger's life (I being the stranger.... you being the strangees ^_~) ...



Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm....This is an intro post.... do people do that on blogs? Do they make 'intro posts'? >_> I think no... I am a fool :-(

:-P


So.... I shall end this.... and um.... start my first actual non-into post.... and edit this later... and.... say something about me? :-/ I don't know! :-(

Ahhh.... okay I shall just say something about me... >_>

No, no I won't. I guess if you want to know... you will just have to read... everyday.... for the rest of my life...

Credits for this blog.... (do people do that? do they put credits for their blogs? >_> not that it matters, but i'm curious...):

Me.... I'm writing it so ME! /beign selfish ftw!
My mommy and family
My cat
MY CLAM! - you'll know who that later...
God
Friends
Lovers ( ;-) ) (LOL!)
Aqcuaintances
Enemies
Any stranger who's path has crossed with mine in one way or another <3

Comment! I like commets :-)

We'll be k.i.t.ing <3

-A Cat!