I had a dream about a guy I used to be in a relationship with.... and we had a friemndship! That was improtant too! :-P Sorry it's just... if I were to call him or if he were to talk about me he'd say 'my ex called' or 'my ex blah blah blah'. I HATE being an 'ex'. Why can't I just be the girl he used to be friends with? :-( THE FRIENDSHIP WAS IMPORTANT TOO!
But now that I think about it more.... it is easier to refer to your former lovers as ex-boyfriends (or ex-girlfriends) rather than ex-friend.
I'm going to call my ... ex-friend-slash-ex-boyfriend Ein (it's not his real name but Ein Etras is his aself-appointed alias... you're likelier to find him looking up Ein Etras than through his real name).
AAAAAAH!nyways ... so in my dream last night I ran into him on the bus. We were at the back. He was sitting by the window. I think his friend, Edbsy, was there too. Anyways, I talked to Ein and even though he seemed a bit withdrawn he talked to me and I suggested we go on a double date. It's weird cause while we were on the bus I got a picture text message from Alex but I couldn't see his eyes... it was just part of his face.... WeIrD. Anyways, we did go on a double date.... only I didn't really have a date.... I was more of a 5th wheel. Or was Edsby my date? I don't know if I was the 5th wheel OR if Ein's date brought a girl friend and she was the 5th wheel. Either way, it was Ein, Edbsy, me, and two other girls. We went to the movies. Then after the movies the two girls left ahead of the guys and went to their car, which was in the parking lot, and I was talking a lot to one of the girls so I guess I walked with her to their car and we kept talking but then they had to go and I had to go so they left. Meanwhile Ein and Edbsy were in their car and I had gotten to the movies with them so they were looking for me. Ein was like 'Where's Cat?" And Edbsy was like "I don't know, I can't find her. Maybe the girls gave her a ride home. Let's go." Anyways, I couldn't find my way to their car so I decided to walk home.
And so began either another dream or it was the same but it chaneged completely! I walked home through a dirt-paved road and I lvied in some weird big hotel where you could fall asleep in one room and wake up in another... but anyways, not important.
Sooo... weird, huh?
I had another dream in which Martin made a guest-apperancance, and Edsby too, only I didn'tr eally see them. But I could feel it was them. I was staying at some resort or hotel and a group og people checked in and then elft otuside and I ran into them... HOLLY SHIZNIT! I RAN INTO THEM IN THE PARKING LOT! TWICE! INT HAT DREAM :-O
Now this is getting scary :-(
Um... I ran into them in the parking lot only they all gave me stink eyes (I may have blogged about this dream too... but I don't remember... I'll check). EThe only person I recognized after I woke up was Betsy, Ein's sister, but still.... in the dream I just knew it was them.
But that was a few weeks ago.
I thought maybe my dream was purely.... well, self-inflicted through the pwoer of suggestion.
I saw a Denny's commercial. I remembered one time I went to eat breakfast with Edsby and Ein at iHop and I went to the restroom and when I got out Ein told me that Edsby wanted to hide so I would freak out and think they left without me :-p But I was thinking more of Edsby.... I keep hoping he'll be on Yahoo IM so I can talk with him. ...We sued tobe friends too although it was mostly because of Ein but Edsby was really cool. He gave me rides to school, work, fixed my comptuer 2x.... he is awesome. End of. But if it weren't for Ein we wouldn't have been friends to begin with.
But now that I thought of how I ran into them in parking lots and both dreams invovled huge buildings of hospitality.... it's freaking me out a bit :-p Either my subconscious lacks creativity or maybe I'm trying tot ell myself something >_>
Even though a part of me wanted to call Ein as soon as this dream came back to me.... i don't anymore. And it's not out of fear opr nervousness :-p It's more... indiffernece. I tried to be friends. He ressented me. I don't know.... I could. I could call and try again.A fterall, a long time has passed since we last spoke. By now he may be over it or willing to be friends.... He may have a giflfriend or luvers :-p but.... I don't know. When I look at life in the sense that it is NOT forever.... i want to call Ein. I want to call everyone I ever knew. i want to make unneccesarry amends (by unecessary I mean, life went on perfectly good without them and it was the mistakes that i seek to amend that we needed to learn and made up the experiences thata re our lifes). But... when I don't think of life that way.... I don't feel any need to call Ein. I'm not curious. I'm not bored enough. I'm don't need any type of closure. I don't mean it in a bad way, I promise that I don't, but I just don't care.
I think its the feeling of being over something. And when we terminate a relationship it's not only the dumpee or he or she who got his or her heart brokent hat needs to 'move on'.... it's the dumper as well. He or she who had to break someone else's heart has to move on too.
And once you do... you can wish the other person well and you may miss them from time to time, especially if you have a lot of free time on your hands :-p, but..... lol This topic got boring :-p And this is EXACTLY what I am talking about only I'm too bored to find words to express myself!
Bleh, I make boring blogs. Sorreh <3
Tune in next time so we can go over again, for the hundrer thousandth time, why I LOVE Zack Fair and loathe Cloud and ressent Sepirth for burnign Nibleheim. if it hadn't been for that, Zack and Cloud wouldn't be injured and tested on.... The three of them would had returned to Midgar, and Zack would had seen Aerith. .... >_< The pain is coming back to me now :-p
I guess I still haven't completely gotten over FFVII >_<
<3
-A silly cat who IS a cat!
I think I may get kicked out of college... it's that bad.
